Let’s say you see something very important that needs to be done, and one person on the project is very fixated on one way to do it. It must be their way, or they will not do it. Alternatively, they will keep bringing up a certain way to do something, to the point that they get annoying. I write this in the third person, first, because it has “never” happened to me, but also because fixation is all about looking at the problem from another point of view.
Usually associated with Asperger’s Syndrome or Autistic Spectrum behavior getting fixated is not always bad. People who get fixated often find a deep problem or issue and they want it fixed. They will usually detect a problem, weeks, if not months, before the rest of the team will. Or they will say it out loud long before the anybody else will say it. I speak from the experience of “my friend,” here – I would not know what this feels like. It is good to listen to people with fixations and find a way to park the fixation for some consideration.
But what do you do if you are the one with the fixation. How do you avoid getting wedged, aka. becoming a “single-track mind,” inflexible, or returning to that issue when the conversation has moved on. You need to build points of reference, and moments of reflection in your life to help you be able to bring up the issue in a more socially acceptable way. It has helped for me to limit the mention to three times, before pausing and reflecting. I’ve also varied the wording, analogies/examples, and benefits that I associate with the recommendation. During reflection time I spend thinking about reasons why this may or may not be important to other people so I can calibrate my approach.
As a certifiably Awkward person, I have learned to pick up on social clues, give correct social clues and carry my point by relaxing rather than insisting on something and driving people away.
