“We all wear masks, metaphorically speaking” [1] and a few of us appreciate the masks, and even fewer use them well. A leader once told me: “I only have one face, and I just say it as it is,” and it sounded so honest and transparent – but it is not. We have different faces, and we say different things to children, spouses, co-workers, bosses, leaders – all the time. So that statement is either naïve or disingenuous.
The masks we wear have to do with the role we play, the amount of trust in the other person, or even the length of time we have known someone for. On the other hand it is possible to always be wearing a mask and not be genuine most of the time – but this is usually associated with trauma (controlling environment) or disorder (like “narcissism”). The normal way is to put a mask on as needed and filter what you are going to say, or curate carefully the impression you give, but over time you become more transparent, more trusting and lower your maks with those you trust.
This EQ skill can be beneficial to technologists, to those who come from different cultures, and junior employees. Over time we all understand how to work with masks and how to manage our presentation to the world.
This skill involves understanding context, understanding the perspectives and expectations of those you are meeting with and being able to adjust your content, pace, and detail to meet the occasion. But first you must be comfortable playing different roles, you must be able to play the technologist role, the salesperson role, the consultant role, etc. You must be able to technologically pown someone in some situations, and you must be able to show the empathy of a counselor in other situations. There is nothing disingenuous about this approach, you have to match the other team’s game otherwise you will be defeated or you will humiliate them.
If you want to discuss more the different personas or understand how to identify which one to apply when please reach out to us to start the conversation.
References:
[1] “Metaphorically…” quote. Enjoy: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/h8quU8pldgg
